her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
