Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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