Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
