We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
