He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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