i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
