omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
