hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
my liver is dry heaving
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
