i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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