btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We left an ass print on the piano.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
