I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
