the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize