The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Randomize
