just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
