It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
