Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
