I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
