Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i need some magic done to my vagina
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
