walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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