You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
