And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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