can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
