um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
