My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize