I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
