Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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