oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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