You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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