My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
