My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
