my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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