The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize