At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
