I will die if light touches me.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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