he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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