All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
