i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
