Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
