using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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