i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
