I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
