she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
