How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
