yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she peed on how many people?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
