yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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