Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
