Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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