So drunk its hurt
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
