He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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