I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
