What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
