I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
