I'm drive I can fine osifer
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
