people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize