Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
