i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
