oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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