fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
