I wish I could punch you in the face.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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