**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
