can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
