i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
