How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
