its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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