is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
