i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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